The Missing Piece
by ArgentNoelle
Summary: Something had happened the night of the feast. It was as if one moment they were in love—and now they weren't. Their lives had been pushed ajar and they could do nothing but wonder what had happened. [Thor/Loki, love potion]
1. Chapter 1

based on this prompt:  
norsekink. livejournal [dot-com] /9985. html? thread= 22146561# t22146561

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"I tell you these potions will work. They came guaranteed from a ___very_ reliable source."

Hodur looked over. Across the tables, on the other side of the feasting hall, the two princes were drinking with their companions. The air was hot from the fires and many people in the hall. He leaned closer to his companion, speaking out of the corner of his mouth. "Nothing's happening." He waited, while the other scoffed. "How did you get this into their drinks anyway? What if there's a mistake?"

"Calm down," Baldur answered confidently. "It's all been planned out. And I didn't drug their cups—all I needed was to get a few drops of this potion onto each of them. When sober, they won't know a thing—but the more they drink, the stronger the effects of the drug will be, until they can't keep their hands off each other."

Hodur leaned back. He watched as the princes downed cup after cup, sending them falling onto the ground before taking another. "All right," he admitted. "That's good, that's very good. Where did you get it, anyway?"

Baldur smiled. "Trade secrets," he said. He spun the little vials in his hand, and looked at the two princes pensively. He fingered the blue one, sighing. "I wanted to give this one to Thor," he admitted.

"Why didn't you?" Hodur asked curiously.

Baldur laughed incredulously. "Can you imagine the suspicion? No… the younger prince is the sorcerer, and a trickster besides… it will be much more believable this way." He slipped the vials back into his pocket.

Hodur grinned at Baldur's black expression. "Thor will get his comeuppance," he said. "It shouldn't be long now… we can sit here and watch the show."

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	2. Chapter 2

He kept noticing Thor. Not that Loki usually _didn't_ notice Thor, but there was something different this time, and he couldn't quite put his finger on what. Sif looked at him, annoyed, as he ignored their conversation, and turned to talk to Fandral. Loki couldn't quite bring himself to care.

What was it? It wasn't his hair—Loki would have noticed. It was the same length it always was, and the same color, like honey and the skins of golden apples.

It wasn't his eyes—they were still blue, a clear sky with lightning hidden in its depths.

It wasn't the way he laughed, or smiled, or caught Loki's eyes across the table.

Loki found he was leaning forward. No, it wasn't any of that, but he _was_ different somehow, as if a lens had been taken away and Loki was seeing him for the first time, almost too bright to bear.

He would have realized it sooner if it hadn't been _Thor_, of all people… as it was, it was too late.

He got up from the table, making hasty excuses, stumbling away from the crowd—but Thor stood up as well. He was following him.

_No,_ Loki thought. _Thor, stay away. What are you_ doing?

Thor caught up with him, grabbed him by the shoulders and spun him around. "Loki! Why are you leaving so soon?"

"I…" Loki couldn't meet Thor's eyes, found he was staring at his lips instead. He could feel Thor's hands on him acutely, found himself leaning in without knowing and _Thor returned the motion. _Their lips hovered centimeters from each other. Loki could feel Thor's breath, smelling of mead. He looked up, and saw his own lust returned in Thor's eyes. Loki leaned back, tearing away with a bright smile. "Ah, I was tired…" (he was still touching Thor, he realized, hands sliding across his back, and he pulled them away but Thor followed, reaching up to Loki's neck. No, no, they were in the middle of a feast, this was a _very bad idea_.)

"So impatient?" Loki asked quietly, a small, mischievous smile playing across his lips.

"_Yes_," Thor answered wholeheartedly.

Loki forced himself to untangle himself from Thor, looking around—but nobody had noticed anything yet. He grabbed Thor by the elbow and dragged him towards the exit.

"Wait till we're in bed, can't you?" he said distractedly, pushing away Thor's hands. Thor looked as innocent as could be, but he pulled them away for the moment. They ducked their way through the crowd, finally exiting the hall, and then Thor reached forward and pushed him against the wall, mouth open as they kissed. Loki closed his eyes. This was _good_… but damn it they were outside still.

He pulled away, panting slightly. "Thor," he said, "not yet."

"But we're alone," Thor pointed out.

That was a very good point, Loki had to admit, but he knew he had a better one… if he could only remember it…

Ah yes. "But we're right next to the entrance."

Thor looked over at the hall as though he had forgotten all about it. He pulled away reluctantly.

Loki caught his hair as he leaned back, pulling him closer. "Don't go yet," he growled.

"But you said we had to," Thor reminded him.

"I changed my mind," Loki answered. Thor met his eyes for a moment, uncertain. Then he ducked away and ran down the corridor.

"Hey!" Loki shouted.

"You'll have to catch me!" Thor called back. Loki grinned and ran after him. They ran through the castle until Loki caught up with Thor. Thor pulled Loki in for a kiss but found his hands going through thin air, and Loki laughed behind him. He turned around, almost catching him, but Loki ducked away. Now he was running with Thor behind. He stopped at his doorway, leaning against it, and watched Thor sprint around the corner.

There were no words now. Thor grabbed him and Loki let the door fall open behind them. They fell to the floor, breathless, and Loki remembered to lock the door with a twist of his fingers before he lost all rational thought.

They never made it to the bed.

That happened afterward, when Loki mentioned they might be more comfortable sleeping there than on the floor. Thor agreed.

When they finally tumbled into bed they lay without speaking in each other's arms. Loki closed his eyes and listened to the beating of Thor's heart, and his slow breathing.

"Why have we not done this before?" Thor asked eventually.

"I have no idea," Loki answered.

"Mmmm. We should do this more often."

"Most definitely," Loki replied, opening his eyes with a grin.

"I didn't mean right now…" Thor said weakly.

"Are you sure?" Loki asked, trailing a hand across Thor's skin.

"Well… ah…"

They did not get to sleep for quite some time after that.

The sun rose.

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	3. Chapter 3

Loki was sleeping in his own bed. He knew the feel of his own bed and this was definitely his bed. But he always slept with clothes on… and yes, he usually didn't sleep with someone else. Hmm. Who could it be?

Oh.

Oh no.

Loki opened his eyes and sat up, staring at Thor in horror. What had he _done?_ He had to get out of here. Right now.

But his movements disturbed Thor, how opened his eyes blearily. "Loki?" he asked, confused. "What?"

Loki saw the moment when he remembered. Thor's face went pale and his eyes widened.

Loki summoned his clothes to him with a wave of his hand, and began to get dressed, carefully not looking at Thor.

His fingers fumbled with the ties. Thor sat up.

"Can I help?" Thor hadn't been reaching for Loki, Loki _knew_ that, and yet he found his hand had acted without thought, slapping Thor away. They stared at one another in silence for a moment. Finally Loki cleared his throat. "Just don't touch me," he said.

"I'm sorry," Thor answered.

And now he still couldn't undo the fastenings because not only were his hands shaking, his vision had gone blurry with tears and he began to cry. He wasn't sad. He did not know _why_ he should be crying, he just, wanted to put the shirt on, _damnit_!

He dropped it to the ground and summoned one without fastenings, pulling it over his head quickly. He felt better at once, his breaths coming slower and more calmly. He began to put on his trousers.

Thor scavenged for his own clothes, sitting on the floor where they had landed. He put on most of it, but then stood for a moment uncertainly. "I can't find my helmet," he said at last. "Or my shirt."

Loki closed his eyes, drawing the covers about him and curling up, hugging his knees. "Take one of mine," he said distantly. "I'll find your helmet later."

Thor moved over to the wardrobe.

If only he could stop crying maybe he could think. If only Thor would leave a little faster. If only…

Thor stopped near the bed, but he didn't reach out. Loki was grateful.

"I'm sorry," he said again.

"It's not your fault," Loki answered. He opened his eyes, and looked at Thor. Uncertain, guilty. "We are both to blame."

"But—" Thor looked pained.

"Just go," Loki said, closing his eyes once more. "_Please_."

And Thor left.

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	4. Chapter 4

Thor felt as though they were watching him. Every time someone caught his eye he flinched, hurrying away. He felt as though it must cling to him, as though it must be obvious… _he slept with his brother. His own_ brother. What if they knew? What if they guessed? What if they had not been as discreet as they thought they had been?

Sif found him quickly. "Where were you!" she exclaimed. "We've been looking for you all day. You left so abruptly last night, we were worried."

"Tired," Thor said quickly. "We were tired. Loki and I. Nothing else."

Sif looked at him in puzzlement. "All right…" she said. "Speaking of Loki, have you seen him?"

"No!" Thor said. "Why should I? We don't sleep together, he's probably still in bed. Ask him." He rushed away before he could hear Sif's reply, face flaming. What had he said? He felt she must be looking at him, noticing he wasn't wearing his own shirt… (but he had his armour on. She wouldn't be able to tell. She wouldn't even think of such a thing. None of them would.)

He went down to the stables and saddled his horse, then rode out of the city. He felt in the mood to smash several large somethings, or to hunt a bilgesnipe. He called Mjolnir to him and waited while it drew closer, striking at the trees with his fists.

His hammer could not come soon enough. He opened his hand and it set to rest, a familiar comforting weight. He would make lightning, but that would draw attention. People might notice. People might ask.

He went in search of a hunt. The harder, the better.

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	5. Chapter 5

Thor came home a week later, carrying his prize, a fully-grown bilgesnipe. It had been a nasty piece of work, hard to defeat, but the adrenaline rush and the danger and the sheer foolhardy _recklessness_ of taking on a predator that should never be taken on alone had filled him with a sense of peace. There was only the hunt.

But the feeling didn't last. His stomach tied in knots before he even saw the golden spires of Asgard on the horizon, and when he finally viewed the city he almost turned around and went back the way he came.

He would have, if he had not the dead bilgesnipe to carry.

He rode through the streets, passersby gawking at the carcass behind him, finally coming into the palace grounds.

Odin was furious of course. He had many harsh words to say about Thor leaving in the middle of important negotiations, caring nothing for Thor's protests that he hadn't actually been _part_ of the negotiations—_what were we supposed to say? _Odin yelled. _We didn't even know you had left for days; we had people searching the palace_.

Thor kept his head down and didn't argue. Any other time, he would have—but any other time, he would have had reasons. Reasons he was not ashamed to speak of. But how could he tell his father what had driven him from the palace so suddenly? He hardly knew himself. He only knew what had happened, and he only knew he wished he could forget.

It wouldn't get out of his head.

Thor fell back into his life easily, and told himself it was over with, that it didn't matter, that it had never happened.

But it stayed with him, like a bitter taste in the back of his mind. He would be laughing with his friends and his mind would whisper _you slept with Loki and they don't know_. Then his grin would fade, and he would have to shake off their questions. "I'm fine."

He was fine.

He was entirely fine.

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	6. Chapter 6

At other times it was less a whisper than a scream, intruding onto every other thought. Thor knew he was not a bad person—and yet if he was not, why could he not forget? (Why had he done it at all?)

He tried to talk to Loki, once. But when Loki saw him coming he slipped away. He was avoiding Thor. (And wasn't _that_ Thor's fault too? After all, he was the one who had gone up to Loki in the hall—)

There was a space in his group where Loki used to be. Thor found himself waiting for one of Loki's biting remarks to remember he was not there. (Could it be he was missing Loki? They had been apart for longer.)

But it was not, really, that he was missing Loki. In the quiet of his mind he could admit that to himself. It was the thought that if Loki had acted like nothing had happened, perhaps Thor's own mind would stop reminding him.

Sif was the only one who noticed. When Thor asked, she said that they had not seen Loki for days. "At first we thought you had gone off together," she said. But three days later, Loki walked into the meeting like nothing had happened. Odin couldn't say anything till afterward, then berated him in private. Loki just tilted his head slightly and answered that he had been in the palace the entire time, and did not know he was being searched for.

Thor doubted the truth of that. Loki had many places to hide, but that he would not know they were being sought? That was more than unlikely. Loki always knew everything that happened in the palace, even before Thor did, down to the smallest gossip. He could not "miss" a large-scale search—not unless he meant to.

At first, it was almost unbearable. Nothing Thor could do would quiet his mind for more than a few minutes at a time. He could not sleep. The more he tried _not_ to think about what happened, the more he couldn't think of anything but. On the few occasions he did see Loki, he was relieved to find he harbored no more feelings toward him—but then the questions and guilt worried him even more. If he did not want Loki, why then _had_ he?

But time soothed even the greatest of wrongs, and as the months passed, the event faded to a nagging sort of worry, a pall that drifted across his mind every so often but that he could almost ignore. It was, he thought, the best he could hope for. It had happened, it was done, and it was over.

Loki began joining them again. Only with the three, never with Thor alone. Thor noticed that, but did not know what to do. He was not sure anything he did would be for the good, and not more harm. So he acted as if nothing was wrong, and in that way dared the others to ask what was going on.

They didn't.

It almost went back to the way it had been, before. Loki was his usual acerbic self, the group's conversations flowing without the strange emptiness they had had before. But Thor was careful never to touch Loki, and Loki never sat with him alone.

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End file.
